HOW TO MANAGE YOUR MIND AND CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS
Welcome back to Part 2 of the series on The Model! Today’s topic is step 2 of The Model – our thoughts and how to manage your Mind. (Missed the first post? Click here to read Part 1)
The Model is brilliant I think. It’s a systematic approach to thought work and I think it takes the “woo woo” out of mindset work and coaching.
I use The Model as a coaching tool with my private 1:1 clients to help them see the way that their brain is thinking about their business or life. The Model is used when you have a problem and you’re suffering some type of emotional pain because of that problem.
REVIEW: CIRCUMSTANCES ARE FACTS
Last week in this post we began by talking about “circumstances”, which are the facts. Circumstances are global events, the past, or other people. They can be proven in a court of law and ultimately when we realize that circumstances are 100% neutral, we can be free from the emotional pain we create.
Circumstances are always neutral, but we don’t always believe that they’re neutral. And it’s that disbelief – the “arguing with what is” that creates emotional pain. We attach meaning to circumstances with our thoughts.
Circumstances are reality and when you argue with reality you lose, but only 100% of the time – Byron Katie
MANAGE YOUR MIND
This week we’re talking about our ‘thoughts’ and changing our thoughts. How do you know if you should question or change a thought? If you don’t like the way it makes you feel. Positive thoughts lead to good feelings, which lead to good actions. Negative thoughts lead to negative feelings, which lead to negative or self-destructive actions
We can say that the root cause of any problem we have is always our thinking. Not the circumstance – it’s the way we think about the circumstance and the meaning we attach to the circumstances.
It’s not our feelings, but the thoughts that created those feelings.
It’s not our actions or non-actions – (our behaviours) – it’s the thoughts & feelings that created those actions.
Our thoughts mirror the results in our lives. If you don’t have the results you want, you must change your thoughts
Thoughts are simple sentences in our brain. Beliefs are thoughts that we keep thinking. I find that often the most difficult and tricky thoughts are the seemingly innocent sentences we think like:
- I can’t
- I don’t know how
- I don’t have enough time
- I can’t afford it
- I’m not good enough
$100K THOUGHT EXAMPLE
Let’s use our $100K example from last week and now add in a few different types of thoughts:
- C: $100K Salary
- T: I don’t know how to make $100K
- F: Hopeless
- A: Avoid learning, avoid getting coached, no offers made to clients
- R: Don’t learn how to make $100K
Now … let’s try a slightly better thought and see how things can shift:
- C: $100K Salary
- T: I’m learning how to make $100K
- F: Curious
- A: Take a course, hire a coach, make offers to help clients
- R: Learning how to make $100K
If you have the same damn thoughts, you’re going to have the same damn day – Meadow DeVor
Some final thoughts about The Model:
- We cannot control the outside world
- Nothing outside of us has the power to make us feel good or bod
- It’s not the circumstances, but our thoughts about the circumstances that create our experience
- We attract what we think about
- We create our lives with our thoughts
- We can’t permanently change our results without changing our thoughts
3 STEPS TO FEEL BETTER
The first step to feeling better is to just become aware of our thoughts. What are the habitual and constant things that you tell yourself about your specific problem?
The second step to find a slightly better thought that you can believe and flip the switch on your thoughts. When the circumstance triggers you to think a thought, decide to think your new thought instead.
Step three is to remind yourself of your new thought and keep thinking the new thought on a loop. Sometimes outside reminders are really helpful here … like putting a sticky note on your computer screen or your bathroom mirror, or listening to an
It can really be that simple to start managing your brain and your thoughts.
Self Coaching 101 – Brooke Castillo